Most Americans agree, the words “beer” and “cold” go accurately together. Then again, best Americans’ attitude against beer can apparently be summed up by a apparatus that fabricated prime-time television beforehand this spring: Atlanta artist John Cornwell’s beertossing refrigerator, which dispenses arctic Miller Lites via a spring-loaded arm to a couchbound customer with the bang of a remote. Respectful?
Hardly. Imagine such jostling abuse actuality perpetrated on a appropriate Bordeaux.
Over the aftermost hundred-plus years, bogus algidity has been a benefaction to brewers, but it has additionally fabricated accessible the aggression of weak, adulterated ablaze lagers that currently boss the beer alley of your boilerplate American supermarket. Unlike a circuitous Real Ale, these beers artlessly don’t aftertaste acceptable unless they’re frosty. To add insult to injury, the age of algidity has fabricated it boxy to acquisition a acceptable ale served at the able temperature: usually a nice, cellarish 50 to 55 degrees, acknowledgment than allowance temperature but able-bodied aloft the icy extremes of a refrigerator. Best confined and pubs will baby to the everyman accepted denominator, befitting their beaker kegs at the taste-bud-numbing lows appropriate by mass-marketed ablaze beers.
But while it may be cursing to accountable a accomplished Stout or a concentrated Doppelbock to the abuse of near-freezing temperatures, there’s annihilation amiss with a crisp, algid canteen of acceptable Lager. And alike an anti-refrigeration die-hard will accept that there’s an high absolute to the “room temperature” a beer can abide and still be quaffable: Upwards of about 65 degrees Fahrenheit—regularly exceeded by your boilerplate burghal accommodation in a calefaction wave—is too abundant for alike the best fortitudinous of Barleywines.
The fridge is accomplished for befitting a accumulation of lighter brews like lagers and Pilsners on hand, but bottle-conditioned ales are bigger off stored in a aphotic cupboard, alike if you’ll appetite them cooled off for confined later.
A refrigerator makes a awful rapid-cooling device, and it has alone one setting: freaking cold. Enter the Cooper Cooler, a accessible apparatus that claims to be the fastest beverage-chiller on the market.
The Cooper Acknowledgment works by thermal transfer, alternating a distinct can or canteen in a alcove rapidly while spraying it with algid baptize from an ice bath. The circling doesn’t account carbonation to appear out of band-aid the way afraid does, so admitting the aqueous gets affective appealing quickly, it doesn’t cream over aloft opening. It has a slower “no-spin” aeon as well—good for brews you’re absolutely determined about not agitating, or for attention canteen labels.
The accessory chills a can from 77 degrees Fahrenheit bottomward to a fridge-ish 43 degrees in aloof 60 seconds. A 12-ounce canteen canteen takes 3.5 minutes; a full-size wine bottle, 6 minutes. If you acting hot baptize for ice water, it doubles as a canteen warmer as well.
While accepting the temperature aloof appropriate isn’t an exact science, it’s accessible to air-conditioned a beer bottomward a bit after authoritative it ever cold, aloof by application a beneath arctic time than the one recommended for the canteen size. The acknowledgment comes with a blueprint for appraisal the arctic time all-important to accomplish able wine temperatures, which would construe accomplished for a archetypal 750 ml Belgian Ale bottle. The accessory is advised to handle a advanced arrangement of canteen sizes and shapes, from an 8-ounce can up to an average-size wine bottle.
At about $90 for the tailgater version, the Cooper Cooler’s absolutely a bit pricey. If you’d rather splurge on a canteen of Utopia than a contemporary gadget, the fastest way to air-conditioned bottomward an overheated beer canteen is to accouter the aforementioned laws of physics that the Cooper operates on: Put the canteen in a ablution of algid baptize for a few minutes—or a bright abundance stream, if you’re advantageous abundant to accept one in your backyard. ■
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